


Stay With Me

by Kkane88



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Insecurity, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:35:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23867626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kkane88/pseuds/Kkane88
Summary: Jonny asks Patrick to move in with him
Relationships: Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews
Comments: 3
Kudos: 99





	Stay With Me

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr:  
> [kkane88](https://kkane88.tumblr.com/)  
> [kwriteshockey](https://kwriteshockey.tumblr.com//)

Jonny's not nervous. He's _not_. It's _just Patrick_. Patrick, who's been in his life longer than he's been out of it. Patrick, whose smile makes his heart race even now. Patrick, who means more to Jonny than anyone else ever could. And, really, it's not like Patrick doesn't spend more time here than he does at his own place; they practically live together already. Is it so bad that Jonny wants to make it official? He's the captain of a fucking NHL team, he shouldn't be this nervous to ask a simple question.

Patrick can obviously tell that something's up. They're sitting next to each other on the couch watching some show Jonny's not paying attention to, and Patrick keeps shooting him side-eyed glances like he thinks Jonny's about to have a breakdown or something. He doesn't even know _why_ he's so nervous. He's been committed to Patrick for way longer than he'd like to admit, and he knows Patrick feels the same. And he's just asking Patrick to _live_ with him, not even to marry him or anything. It won't be the end of the world if Patrick says no. He would understand, even. They spend so much time together that Patrick probably needs his own space. Should he even ask? He doesn't want to pressure Pat into moving in if he's not ready. What if he messes everything up?

"What's up with you?" Patrick finally asks after Jonny comes back from wiping down the kitchen counters for the third time. He looks nervous, hands fidgeting and eyes darting around Jonny's face like he's looking for answers.

Jonny hesitates for a moment. "Nothing," he lies, flicking an invisible piece of lint from the coffee table before he sits back down next to Patrick, on the opposite end of the couch. It's not like making the place any cleaner is going to make Patrick any more likely to say yes, but it makes Jonny feel better.

"Are you sure?" Jonny can see that Patrick's worried but every time he opens his mouth he can't get the words out.

"Yeah," he says weakly. "Are you hungry? I'll make dinner." He's up again before Patrick has a chance to answer. Patrick doesn't come into the kitchen while Jonny cooks to pester him like he usually does. When Jonny pokes his head back into the living room to check on him, he's curled into the corner of the couch staring at the tv blankly, like he's not really watching it. Jonny starts to worry. He's not trying to scare Patrick, but that's obviously what's happening. He doesn't know how to fix it without just _asking_. He's a coward. When he finishes plating up the food, he steps back into the living room behind the couch where Patrick's sitting.

"Hey," he says softly, leaning down to press a kiss to Patrick's forehead. "Food's ready. You wanna eat in the dining room or in here?"

"In here," Patrick decides, shooting Jonny a timid smile. He goes and gets their plates and settles down next to Patrick, close enough for their knees to brush and Patrick settles against his side like he was just waiting for an invitation. Jonny can imagine them like this every day. Waking up next to Patrick, eating meals together, snuggling on the couch. He _wants_ that. He's never been afraid to go after what he wants, but Patrick is so much more important than anything else. He only has one shot to get this right and if he messes it up he could never forgive himself.

They finish eating and Patrick takes their plates, shoving Jonny back down when he tries to get up and help.

"You cooked, I'll clean," Patrick says firmly. When Jonny tries to protest again, Patrick shoots him a look. "I want to," he says, softer. Jonny's helpless to argue against him when he sounds like that, but he gets the feeling Patrick's trying to… _prove_ himself or something. That's not what he wants.

"Are you sure?" he asks, trying to stand up again. Patrick rolls his eyes and pushes Jonny back down before leaning down and kissing him quickly. Jonny's barely had a chance to react when Patrick pulls back and starts heading out of the room. "Come back soon." Patrick rolls his eyes but Jonny sees him smile and he counts it a success. But Jonny can only sit still for a few minutes before he gets fidgety and has to get up again. He heads for the hall bathroom this time and starts wiping down _those_ counters and then, while he's at it, cleans the toilet. Then he heads for the linen closet and pulls a new set of sheets out before heading back to the bedroom. He's just starting to strip the bed when Patrick walks in. He shoots Pat a smile and throws the old sheet on the floor before starting to put the new set on. Patrick comes over and helps him, silently- neither of them saying a word until the bed is remade. Jonny's so lost in his thoughts of _this, them, want this, always,_ that he doesn't realize how tense Patrick has become.

"Do you want me to leave?" Patrick finally asks as Jonny's picking the old sheets off of the floor. He drops them again immediately.

" _What?_ " He's beyond shocked, frozen on the spot with his jaw dropped. Why would Patrick think that?

"Do you want me to leave?" Patrick asks again, shakier. He won't look at Jonny, eyes firmly on the floor, arms crossed like he's trying to protect himself.

"No, baby, of course not," Jonny says fiercely, crossing over to him and reaching out to grasp Patrick by the arms. "Why would you think that?"

"You've been weird all night," Patrick mumbles. "You haven't really touched me at all and when I tried to talk to you, you ran away." Jonny's stomach drops. He knew Patrick could tell something was up, but he didn't think Patrick would _ever_ believe Jonny wanted him gone. He pulls Patrick forward into a hug, relieved when there's absolutely no resistance. "Did I do something wrong?" he asks, muffled against Jonny's shirt.

"Of course not," Jonny says again. "I'm sorry I made you think that. I know I've been weird, but it's not because of anything you did. I love you so much." Just like that, Patrick relaxes against him, slipping his arms around Jonny's waist.

"I love you, too," he says, obviously relieved. "Then what's going on? You've been stress cleaning."

"I don't stress clean," Jonny lies.

"Yes, you do." Patrick pokes him in the side. Jonny presses a kiss to his temple.

"Okay," Jonny says, embarrassed. "I know I was being weird. I just…" He decides he needs to get over himself and just _ask_. "Okay, I just… need to ask you something." He takes a deep breath and he feels Patrick freeze against him, not even seeming to breathe. "Would you want to… move in with me?" Patrick pulls back, eyes wide in surprise.

"Oh," he breathes. And then nothing else.

"If not, that's fine," Jonny starts babbling. "I would understand if you don't, but I wanted to ask just-"

"Jonny, Jon, no," Patrick interrupts, arms tightening around Jon's waist. "Of course I want." Jonny stops his babbling and they stare at each other in silence.

"You do?" And it comes out a little shakier than he had hoped it would.

"Of course," Patrick says easily, before turning a little sheepish. "I'm just surprised. I just didn't think you'd want me around that much." Jonny brings a hand up to cup Patrick's face, thumb brushing along his cheek.

"I always want you around," Jonny admits. "This is going to be the sappiest thing I've ever said, but we could be on a week long road trip where we see each other almost every minute of every day and as soon as we get home I miss you. I was worried maybe you didn't want to be around _me_ that much. I almost talked myself out of asking."

"That just makes you an idiot," Patrick snipes. Jonny reaches up and musses Patrick's hair just for the indignant squawk he knows he'll earn. "I'm just kidding!" Patrick grumbles, smacking Jonny's hands away. "Everyone already knows we're co-dependant assholes."

"Ain't that the truth," Jonny snorts, undeniably relived. "So that's a yes, then?"

"Yeah, I mean, I practically already live here anyway," Patrick agrees. "Guess I can just move the rest of my stuff over."

"Awesome," Jonny agrees with a grin. "But, hey," he starts, smile faltering. "Why is your first thought when I'm acting weird that you did something wrong?" Patrick sighs and takes a step back, walking over to the pile of sheets on the floor and gathering them up.

"I don't know, Jon," he says tiredly, walking out of the room. Jon follows him, obviously.

"I just have those kinds of days sometimes. Today was one of them."

"What kinds of days?" he asks gently as they stop in front of the washing machine.

"Just… days where I wonder what you're doing with me." He still won't look at Jonny, dumping the sheets in the machine and starting it. Jonny reaches out and snags his wrist, turning Patrick to face him. "Look, most of the time it's fine and I'm fine and it's nothing. But some days I just look at you and you're just _perfect,_ Jon. You drive me crazy and you leave your water bottles _all over the place_ and you're an arrogant dick sometimes, but you're the greatest man I've ever known. Sometimes I don't know how I would breathe without you. Sometimes I don't know what I have to offer you." Patrick has tears in his eyes and Jonny pulls him in again, hoping Patrick may feel better if he feels like he has a place to hide. Jonny's heart _aches_.

It's not that he doesn't know Patrick's a little self-deprecating sometimes. Not about hockey- it would be crazy if he didn't know he was one of the greatest hockey players of this generation. But he has a hard time accepting praise when it's about anything else, even if it's something as simple as making dinner. Jonny gets a firm grip on the back of Patrick's neck and holds him close.

"Pat, I don't know what I would do without you," Jonny tells him honestly. "You're the only thing that keeps me sane most days."

"I know," Patrick says wetly against his neck. "I know. You love me and we're so good together."

"Exactly," Jonny breathes, relieved.

"Sometimes I just let my thoughts spiral. I don't know what to do with it."

"You're under a lot of pressure," Jonny says, stroking a hand through his hair. "I get it."

"But you're under the same pressure," Patrick argues, pulling back just enough to look at Jonny. His eyes are red rimmed. "And you don't fall apart like this. You're always so put together. Maybe I shouldn't move in so you don't have to see me like this. It's easier to hide from you that way." The attempt at a joke falls flat between them.

"Patrick, I love every part of you. Even the messy parts." Jonny leans down and presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "I have my messy moments, too. Maybe we've just gotten too good at hiding them from each other." Patrick reaches up and loops his arms around Jonny's neck and they take a moment to study each others' faces.

"This could be an awful idea," he finally says. "Spending every second of every day together."

"We'll figure it out," Jonny shrugs. "At least we're not road roommates anymore."

"We'll have to leave the conjoining door closed," Patrick giggles.

"We're gonna be fine, eh?" Jonny says confidently. "And if we're not, we'll talk about what we need to do to get there."

"I don't know how I got so lucky," Patrick sighs. "You're so good to me."

"You _are_ lucky," he agrees, earning a laugh. "I love you."

"Love you," Patrick agrees. And although Patrick looks wrung out and tired, he looks _happy_ , and Jonny knows that no matter what, they're going to be okay.


End file.
